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Beyond the Fleeting Gales

by Crying

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released October 14, 2016

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Track Name: Premonitory Dream
Spit in the water --
not sure why
My feet are sweating as this neck cranes
downward, in search of where I went
Tried to leave a piece of me there in case I forget…



From the dark,
it appeared:
a splendid mystery!
O, it drew me near
Towards a path,
far from home,
and I knew I had to go forth alone

Deep in the heart of this lone bridge,
a sudden terror overtook me:
continue blindly or turn back,
at risk of burdening the wood and rope I’d already passed?

Somehow I fought back:
against uncertainty,
the harsh bite of jealousy,
prayers she had sent for me

to embark upon something they had never done

out of fear
fear of pain,
but keeping static felt exactly the same

From underneath, the dark waves riled after a wind blew by, removing a pair of glasses from my face and it occurred to me it wasn’t worth just staying in place.
Track Name: Wool in the Wash
Pearly,
white mystery appeared before my eyes
wriggling in the kitchen sink,
in and out the bowl of fresh-picked

berries
How suddenly I tried to flush them out
water wasn't strong enough;
I just pretended that it was


If you want it --
girl, go and get it
Pick the wound despite all that they say to you
What's there to lose
in making a move?

So, I washed my hands
and took a hearty bite


O, how!
I got!
so…


Finally,
the mystery appeared before my eyes
Hearing her play in the grass,
I took the marble from my hat to

bury
Alone, I dug a hole into the dirt
My heart wasn't strong enough;
I just pretended that it was


If you want it --
Girl, Go and Get It
even if the pain is undeniable
Moving to lose
is making a move

So, I packed my bags
and bought a ticket out

O, how!
I got!
so...


If you “get it,”
girl, do you want it?
Understanding and feeling are different
What’s there to lose
if you’ve already lost?

So, I took my seat
in the back of the car


O, how I got so small!
Like a wool in the wash!
Track Name: Patriot
How well could I save the sight of her blue hand, curling in the water?

What started as business forks off into a

Curious request: “Would you pass the salt?”

I’m a gamble with fire
and I’m a burning liar
above all, to myself
My loyalty is a hell

Even when you think you know, you are still becoming, Orlando!
With a change of plot, please be patient with your heart

How much longer will I have to spend sailing forward till we meet again?

Blowing in a circle, I forget movement

“I adore you.” // “Look, it’s beginning to rain.”

Take me back to the smoke,
back to the mighty oak,
to that spot in the woods
I thought I understood
All alone, to myself,
my loyalty is a hell

I wish I had a little more time? The current moves me forth, but I still look behind
Track Name: Origin
SETTING: house of three
(2) Daughters with a debt for their
(2) Mothers to collect
so, each toe the line

O, when I go home,
I’m not there
because some time away
still won’t repair
wounds that we didn’t make, but open

Restlessness becomes
a weapon that hides under my tongue,
but by the skin of my teeth

Pity is a demon,
coursing through the night
every time the door locks thrice

Mothers will expect that their
Daughters won’t forget
what they’ve sacrificed

Leave as a villain or stay behind
to howl as a victim who’s “renounced”
their pride in order to nurture


“What I couldn’t do / won’t happen to you”


CLUE: every battle that presents itself
as new fits on a parallel between
another child and their tender

Selflessness becomes
a lock and chain that keep her from
chasing a fantasy

“Save her! She’s just a baby!”
Crawling on all fours,
eventually, she’ll reach the door
Track Name: Well and Spring
Legend has it: if you drink from the well
you will return, but
it’s hard to tell
she had found herself drinking from it twice --
one time at noon
the rest at night


Enter the spring: your soul remains
bubbling and stuck in-between
to interrupt a clotting wound,
and cut to a fever dream

part of me wanted to spit
so I’d become a part of it
and this time, I wouldn’t long
the spring would pine for me instead


When we built, a map upon the bed
the x of cups had nodded to
a door I’ve since been looking for again


Museum, the bending path,
every e-mail, every text --
places to go to catch her breath
and relive the evidence

“Close every one, lest you should spend
your whole life searching for them,”
so, said the angel to the child
who, divided, broke the knife
Track Name: A Sudden Gust
And though I couldn’t see,
repetition of a vision
came to me in a dream
How the mind can make you guess!
Traded losses for a new mess

and if I could’ve turned my head
when I spat out the window, ah! --
Would I have felt the wind?

Though we kept driving on
in the car towards the reservoir, my
mind conjured up the Bridge:
each side looked like the other one
I couldn’t tell where I had come from!

but it made no difference --
getting through meant
returning, back to you

Healing is a battle in the between the approaches of obsessive preservation and the brittle separation from all pleasures doubling as the source of our fear and pain so, sometimes, propelling through these minor destructions kind of feels like

a mistake

So, I began to walk
and soon discovered
I had recovered
steps I’d already made
and the bridge let me advance
in the offering of a new chance

and should I feel fucked up when I
still expect?
When I let it in?
It scares me to begin,
but if I don’t trust again,
could I ever face the wind?
Track Name: There Was a Door
[Slipping through the elevator doors, well aware that the man could be already there]

Will he look? Must I always come and go in distress?
I forget -- I can’t escape behind the shape of my chest

and as a matter of fact,
either way I serve it,
I am bound to a trap
of two determined landscapes,
so I’m bound to attack like a River:
Reflect
Disconnect
Deliver

All I’ve wanted for the place I live
is the same for this vessel I’m in:
a body of water

Whole
Alone
Free

Feeling nothing, it will pool inside of me


resting my hands after I fought
to resurrect what I forgot,
new hands appeared before my eyes
to move the dirt again


1. I just keep coming out to myself
2. I just keep coming out to myself
it just keeps coming


[how suddenly there was a door!]


Now, when I look in the mirror,
it’s not as hard to tell myself
the good things that I want to hear,
but the problem slips from foul lips --
and the misunderstanding of an ownership.

“FAMILY” doesn’t mean you can touch
and “JUST JOKING” is not a reason enough for me to
not bite but be polite
and if you don’t “see it coming,”
then you better think twiceee ~


All I’ve wanted for the place I live
is respect for this vessel I’m in:
a body of water

Wild
Immense
Untame

Teach me how to be unseen as something to claim

Just when I thought I had run into a standstill
How suddenly there was a door!

Here it comes -- a current
can you feel it rushing through
despite all its power, I’ve learned it’s best
to shut my mouth and yet
the pressure will come-
Enough with exposition!
Get to the heart of it, no matter
what you started with.

If you don’t want it,
you can reset it
Track Name: Revive
In the beginning: a promise
to take a shot in the dark --
a pledge to rising and to falling apart,
it was written
by our own hands;
we were bound

Nervous and
full of fire, we
bore the task
that motions forward, while I keep reeling back…

And though I try to revive it,
try to return to the start,
searching for us in the basement,
sifting for us in the car,
I have a hard time with leaving
Time can't preserve every truth
So, what was once in existence
must've turned into something else

Victories traded for losses

don't make up
for the weight
or the space
that saves an emptiness I tried to replace

And though I try to revive it,
try to return to the start,
searching for something familiar,
do I misremember the past?
I have a hard time with leaving
Time can't preserve every truth
Sever the stems of expecting
Light can fall and still follow through

remind me:

"It was na-na-not so great !"
Track Name: Children of the Wind
When, at last, the knife broke
and the rat decided to cut the rope,
O, the child lived on
while the jailer dropped
searching for old light in the dark

From time to time,
blushing orchid hues will come to mind
and a knock will greet
when I least expect
what I stopped trying to protect

Am I foolish or
isn’t there something more?


Heed the fleeting gales
light which illuminates can burn
When you call my name,
could there be something left to learn?

Wading blindly
into the night, I saw
what I wanted to


If we cut to the chase,
what will I have kept? What will I have erased
from the screens that bridged
and still bring me to
seeking or discovering old truths?

Am I foolish or
wasn’t there something more?


Heed the patterned trails
that leave us with messages to discern
Parting from the dark
can’t guarantee I won’t return

Waiting blindly
all throughout the night,
I felt her
hold a hand for me to shake
and opened up my eyes
Track Name: The Curve
Remote and resting in a grove,
she removed a piece of paper from her pocket
unfolding what used to be a crane
just to prove a moment went by without talking

Then, in secret, she hid by the shore
Digging for something more

What lies beyond the curve? I couldn’t stand to linger
Slow infinite crawl towards something I “deserve” …

Regardless of pleasures that she reaps
from wandering, destinations remain disconnected
because staring out across the lake
was but a wild distraction from what she neglected

In spite of encountering a lock,
why couldn’t I think to knock?

What lies beyond the curve? I couldn’t stand to linger
Slow infinite crawl towards somewhere I belong …

From the quiet, there was the sound of rain
Comes and goes without knowing certain when
From the quiet, there was the sound of rain
Comes and goes without knowing certain when