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Beyond the Fleeting Gales

by Crying

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1.
Spit in the water -- not sure why My feet are sweating as this neck cranes downward, in search of where I went Tried to leave a piece of me there in case I forget… From the dark, it appeared: a splendid mystery! O, it drew me near Towards a path, far from home, and I knew I had to go forth alone Deep in the heart of this lone bridge, a sudden terror overtook me: continue blindly or turn back, at risk of burdening the wood and rope I’d already passed? Somehow I fought back: against uncertainty, the harsh bite of jealousy, prayers she had sent for me to embark upon something they had never done out of fear fear of pain, but keeping static felt exactly the same From underneath, the dark waves riled after a wind blew by, removing a pair of glasses from my face and it occurred to me it wasn’t worth just staying in place.
2.
Pearly, white mystery appeared before my eyes wriggling in the kitchen sink, in and out the bowl of fresh-picked berries How suddenly I tried to flush them out water wasn't strong enough; I just pretended that it was If you want it -- girl, go and get it Pick the wound despite all that they say to you What's there to lose in making a move? So, I washed my hands and took a hearty bite O, how! I got! so… Finally, the mystery appeared before my eyes Hearing her play in the grass, I took the marble from my hat to bury Alone, I dug a hole into the dirt My heart wasn't strong enough; I just pretended that it was If you want it -- Girl, Go and Get It even if the pain is undeniable Moving to lose is making a move So, I packed my bags and bought a ticket out O, how! I got! so... If you “get it,” girl, do you want it? Understanding and feeling are different What’s there to lose if you’ve already lost? So, I took my seat in the back of the car O, how I got so small! Like a wool in the wash!
3.
Patriot 03:10
How well could I save the sight of her blue hand, curling in the water? What started as business forks off into a Curious request: “Would you pass the salt?” I’m a gamble with fire and I’m a burning liar above all, to myself My loyalty is a hell Even when you think you know, you are still becoming, Orlando! With a change of plot, please be patient with your heart How much longer will I have to spend sailing forward till we meet again? Blowing in a circle, I forget movement “I adore you.” // “Look, it’s beginning to rain.” Take me back to the smoke, back to the mighty oak, to that spot in the woods I thought I understood All alone, to myself, my loyalty is a hell I wish I had a little more time? The current moves me forth, but I still look behind
4.
Origin 02:37
SETTING: house of three (2) Daughters with a debt for their (2) Mothers to collect so, each toe the line O, when I go home, I’m not there because some time away still won’t repair wounds that we didn’t make, but open Restlessness becomes a weapon that hides under my tongue, but by the skin of my teeth Pity is a demon, coursing through the night every time the door locks thrice Mothers will expect that their Daughters won’t forget what they’ve sacrificed Leave as a villain or stay behind to howl as a victim who’s “renounced” their pride in order to nurture “What I couldn’t do / won’t happen to you” CLUE: every battle that presents itself as new fits on a parallel between another child and their tender Selflessness becomes a lock and chain that keep her from chasing a fantasy “Save her! She’s just a baby!” Crawling on all fours, eventually, she’ll reach the door
5.
Legend has it: if you drink from the well you will return, but it’s hard to tell she had found herself drinking from it twice -- one time at noon the rest at night Enter the spring: your soul remains bubbling and stuck in-between to interrupt a clotting wound, and cut to a fever dream part of me wanted to spit so I’d become a part of it and this time, I wouldn’t long the spring would pine for me instead When we built, a map upon the bed the x of cups had nodded to a door I’ve since been looking for again Museum, the bending path, every e-mail, every text -- places to go to catch her breath and relive the evidence “Close every one, lest you should spend your whole life searching for them,” so, said the angel to the child who, divided, broke the knife
6.
And though I couldn’t see, repetition of a vision came to me in a dream How the mind can make you guess! Traded losses for a new mess and if I could’ve turned my head when I spat out the window, ah! -- Would I have felt the wind? Though we kept driving on in the car towards the reservoir, my mind conjured up the Bridge: each side looked like the other one I couldn’t tell where I had come from! but it made no difference -- getting through meant returning, back to you Healing is a battle in the between the approaches of obsessive preservation and the brittle separation from all pleasures doubling as the source of our fear and pain so, sometimes, propelling through these minor destructions kind of feels like a mistake So, I began to walk and soon discovered I had recovered steps I’d already made and the bridge let me advance in the offering of a new chance and should I feel fucked up when I still expect? When I let it in? It scares me to begin, but if I don’t trust again, could I ever face the wind?
7.
[Slipping through the elevator doors, well aware that the man could be already there] Will he look? Must I always come and go in distress? I forget -- I can’t escape behind the shape of my chest and as a matter of fact, either way I serve it, I am bound to a trap of two determined landscapes, so I’m bound to attack like a River: Reflect Disconnect Deliver All I’ve wanted for the place I live is the same for this vessel I’m in: a body of water Whole Alone Free Feeling nothing, it will pool inside of me resting my hands after I fought to resurrect what I forgot, new hands appeared before my eyes to move the dirt again 1. I just keep coming out to myself 2. I just keep coming out to myself it just keeps coming [how suddenly there was a door!] Now, when I look in the mirror, it’s not as hard to tell myself the good things that I want to hear, but the problem slips from foul lips -- and the misunderstanding of an ownership. “FAMILY” doesn’t mean you can touch and “JUST JOKING” is not a reason enough for me to not bite but be polite and if you don’t “see it coming,” then you better think twiceee ~ All I’ve wanted for the place I live is respect for this vessel I’m in: a body of water Wild Immense Untame Teach me how to be unseen as something to claim Just when I thought I had run into a standstill How suddenly there was a door! Here it comes -- a current can you feel it rushing through despite all its power, I’ve learned it’s best to shut my mouth and yet the pressure will come- Enough with exposition! Get to the heart of it, no matter what you started with. If you don’t want it, you can reset it
8.
Revive 02:59
In the beginning: a promise to take a shot in the dark -- a pledge to rising and to falling apart, it was written by our own hands; we were bound Nervous and full of fire, we bore the task that motions forward, while I keep reeling back… And though I try to revive it, try to return to the start, searching for us in the basement, sifting for us in the car, I have a hard time with leaving Time can't preserve every truth So, what was once in existence must've turned into something else Victories traded for losses don't make up for the weight or the space that saves an emptiness I tried to replace And though I try to revive it, try to return to the start, searching for something familiar, do I misremember the past? I have a hard time with leaving Time can't preserve every truth Sever the stems of expecting Light can fall and still follow through remind me: "It was na-na-not so great !"
9.
When, at last, the knife broke and the rat decided to cut the rope, O, the child lived on while the jailer dropped searching for old light in the dark From time to time, blushing orchid hues will come to mind and a knock will greet when I least expect what I stopped trying to protect Am I foolish or isn’t there something more? Heed the fleeting gales light which illuminates can burn When you call my name, could there be something left to learn? Wading blindly into the night, I saw what I wanted to If we cut to the chase, what will I have kept? What will I have erased from the screens that bridged and still bring me to seeking or discovering old truths? Am I foolish or wasn’t there something more? Heed the patterned trails that leave us with messages to discern Parting from the dark can’t guarantee I won’t return Waiting blindly all throughout the night, I felt her hold a hand for me to shake and opened up my eyes
10.
The Curve 03:41
Remote and resting in a grove, she removed a piece of paper from her pocket unfolding what used to be a crane just to prove a moment went by without talking Then, in secret, she hid by the shore Digging for something more What lies beyond the curve? I couldn’t stand to linger Slow infinite crawl towards something I “deserve” … Regardless of pleasures that she reaps from wandering, destinations remain disconnected because staring out across the lake was but a wild distraction from what she neglected In spite of encountering a lock, why couldn’t I think to knock? What lies beyond the curve? I couldn’t stand to linger Slow infinite crawl towards somewhere I belong … From the quiet, there was the sound of rain Comes and goes without knowing certain when From the quiet, there was the sound of rain Comes and goes without knowing certain when

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released October 14, 2016

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